A fool for your loving
by Natalie Ryan
Summary: This story takes off after the events of 6x03 and was inspired by the events from 5x25 up to 6x03. It's a McDanno as a couple story (this is kinda get-together). It's heavy with feelings. Hawaii Five 0 belongs to Peter Lenkov and CBS. I don't own it.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

* * *

 **This fic was born out of a convo in the McDanno support group I recently became part of. Lcdrsuperseal and I discussed how much we "love" Catherine (sorry for the sarcasm, but I don't like her at all, after all she did, and if you are a McRoller or a multishipper do not get mad with me) and I was like imagine if Danny got drunk because of that (the whole engagement thing at the start of season 6), drowning his sorrows, and he was like imagine if Steve finds him like that. And my evil mind (blame the muse) came up with the idea of Danny confessing his feelings to an "illusion" Steve.**

 **So, I took that and turned it into this (thanks lcdrsuperseal for inspiring me). But the muse was ignoring me the whole time coming back online and going offline for hours before I had it all done, and here's the end result. Hope you'll like it.**

 **Also, big thanks to Praemonitus Praemunitus for the read-through and for once again keeping me off the edge and following the dangerous path my muse wanted to get me on (pulled the plug once again). And that encouragement with "More!" when I had barely 300 words written was a real push and I appreciate it. She melted over the little moment where Steve pulls Danny's hand and puts it over his heart. I don't blame her, I did, too.**

 **Lunedd, my other partner in crime also did a read-through and boy after reading the first chapter she was awwwwing and feeling for our boys that are helpless in love. Thank you, babe :****

 **The title of the story came to me when I discussed our boys with Prae, and then I remembered that it is actually a title of one of Whitesnake's songs :)**

 **Enjoy and let me know what you think.**

* * *

Danny always felt welcome in Steve's house. Ever since they became friends, and Danny stayed at Steve's and slept on the couch, he had the key with him and it was easier when the door was locked and one of them needed access to the other's house.

He knew his partner was a trained Navy SEAL, ninja Navy SEAL if he may add, and he should've been scared by now with what could Steve do, if he thought there was an intruder in the house.

But, their psychic connection always told the other when they were around. So, Danny and Steve were comfortable with that. Well, not obviously when the one or the other had a date and was supposed to be private moment, but enough comfortable to at least get a heads up that they were coming.

Danny tried calling Steve's number thousand times since last night, but it went straight to voice mail. At first he thought he was probably worrying too much, Steve was with Catherine celebrating their engagement and didn't want to be bothered. But, when he called in the morning and Steve's phone went still to voice mail, the feeling of dread, in the pit of his stomach returned.

He took a quick shower, put on fresh clothes and drove off. On his way to Steve's house, Danny made a stop to get malasadas and coffee for both of them. He still didn't have his morning dose of caffeine.

When Danny came to the front door, he knocked first. He didn't want to catch them in the act, thank you very much. But when he didn't get an answer he let himself in.

What he found was baffling, the house was a mess. Furniture turned, pieces of glass on the floor, everything was like someone broke in.

On autopilot, he picked his gun from where it rested in its holster, released the safety and pointed it at nothing in particular.

"Steve!" Danny yelled, his heart in his throat. After a minute "Steve!"

A feeling of dread set itself in the pit of Danny's stomach as he took turns in the kitchen, the hall, out on the lanai and the bathroom. He moved carefully and silently up the stairs and checked the spare bedroom, then the upstairs bathroom. No sign of Steve.

Danny's last stop was Steve's bedroom. He opened the door silently, praying nothing happened to his partner. What he encountered was… shocking was the mild way to put it.

The room reeked of alcohol, Danny suspected it was either whiskey or cognac. He almost gagged and had to stop for a second to breathe deeply for a few times before his nose adjusted to the stench, and the bile didn't rise up to his throat.

Steve lay on the mattress, his prone form splayed at odd angles, only in his boxers. He was snoring, loudly, and was dead to the world. Danny set the safety of his gun up and holstered it before he went to face his partner sleeping form.

What waited for him on the other side of the bed brought tears to Danny's eyes.

Steve's hair was disheveled, there were dried tear tracks on his face, he could see the red around the eyes even in sleep, and Steve looked so worn out and 10 years older than yesterday.

Danny cursed himself internally for not coming to Steve's place sooner, because it looked like things didn't go well ever since yesterday afternoon. Judging by the empty bottles on the floor next to Steve's bed, Steve had started this party early and didn't think of calling Danny to it.

Danny's eyes focused on a tiny box on the night stand. The ring. The infamous ring. The proposal ring. He felt a pang of hurt in his chest, something he felt on regular basis ever since Catherine was back. Because he was gathering courage to talk to Steve about the way he felt about him, and then Catherine came back and ruined those plans.

Danny closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was not worth it to dwell on those feelings, because clearly Steve didn't feel the same for him. The ring was a witness enough. In those velvety confines of the box, lay a diamond ring that never got to be put on Catherine's finger apparently, Danny noted. And that was probably the reason why Steve was as drunk as a log.

Chalking up his feelings about Steve and once again Catherine's betrayal, judging by the state of Steve and the house, Danny set a goal. He went downstairs and in the kitchen, making a fresh pot of coffee, the one he brought with the malasadas already cold in the Camaro. While the coffee was brewing, he tidied up, as much as he could.

When he was finished he poured the coffee in a mug and carried it to the bedroom. Carefully placing it on the nightstand, he gently started shaking Steve to wake him up.

Steve was grunting and pleading for 5 more minutes, but the person waking him up, that sounded suspiciously like his partner wouldn't budge and he found himself opening his eyes. What greeted him was indeed his partner. His blonde blue-eyed partner that had worry etched on his forehead and that kindness and love in those eyes for him. For Steve.

Steve blinked couple of times until his vision adjusted to the surroundings. He registered that he was in his bedroom, and a second after he managed to drag himself against the headboard steamy mug of coffee made its way into his hands.

He thanked Danny with a nod and seeped from the hot liquid that soothed his insides. The party must have been hard because he felt like a marching band was pounding on his skull. He had one hell of a hangover. And oh, no, they had work in less than… _Wait, it was after 9?_

"We are late for work, Danno." Steve stated matter-of-factly while simultaneously drowning the last of his coffee and getting up off the bed.

Danny sat on the edge, his gaze fixed at the wall, unmoving.

"Danny, I said…"

"I know what you said, Steven!" Danny's voice was stern and on the edge of pissed. "You are not going to work today. I already called Chin and asked him to hold the fort for today, because neither you nor I will go to work today. Understood?"

"But?"

"No 'buts'. You are hung over and can barely function as a normal person, let alone handle yourself doing your job today. Just how much did you drink last night, huh?"

And suddenly it all clicked into place. Catherine. The ring. The proposal.

"She's gone, Danny." Steve said as he slumped on the bed, dejectedly and started crying.

Danny enveloped Steve in a tight hug, while Steve finally released all the pent up emotions he had inside him for so long. He was hurt and betrayed so many times, Danny's heart was aching together with Steve's in unison. Danny gently rocked Steve back and forth, reassuring him that everything was gonna be alright, that he needs to let it go. And Steve did. For a while. Then his brain caught up with the events just a week prior, when he was a witness to the brutal confession from Danny's part. The one Danny didn't remember the next day, nor the day after that.

And Steve jerked out of Danny's embrace, sobering up. Danny was startled and looked at Steve like he grew on a second head.

"What happened, Steve?" _Why are you pulling away?_

"Catherine left. I didn't get to the main point of our conversation." _You pulled away first._

There was the familiar pang in Danny's chest and he instinctively reached out to soothe the hurting spot. Seeing Steve follow his moves, he dropped his hand quickly to the mattress and sighed.

"I'm sorry, bud."

"Yeah, me too. I mean, I was kinda expecting it. But, I thought this time she'd stay."

"Yeah, me too."

"What? Is there anything you know, and I don't?"

Danny exhaled. It was now or never. "I talked to her."

"When?"

"Yesterday afternoon. I… I wanted to make sure she'll stay this time. That she won't hurt your feelings again. Because you were wreck after the events in Afghanistan. You avoided us all for weeks, and when you finally pulled through all you could think of was Catherine. Even after what she did."

"What are you talking about, Danny?"

"I'm talking about her betrayal number I can't even recall. She lied to you so many times, babe, covering for your mother, and then leaving you on your own in Afghanistan, calling ME to get you out of the mess she put you in the first place…" Danny's voice hitched and he cleared his throat before he continued. "I know, I get it. Her friend was in a dire need of help, and you went to help her. I get it. But, if she loved you that much, she would have done something to help you out.

"If it makes a difference, not that I want to compare myself with her or anything, I would have died trying to get you out of that mess, if it meant you made it alive. I know children's lives were at stake… But you are so important to me Steve."

"I know." And those words weighed more under the knowledge of Danny's feelings for him.

"That aside, she called you after you landed on U. S. soil and then she said she didn't feel complete and all. I get that, too, but how could she not feel complete? I mean what else could she ask from her life? If it was her mission to help those kids, she could've done it from here, too, work around that bureaucratic crap, and stay with you. Because you are a great man, and you deserve to be loved and cared for. What she did…" Danny suddenly stopped talking and hung his head low. His breaths were short and coming in gasps.

Steve was oddly cold and unmoving next to him, and Danny was wondering if Steve was even listening to what he had to say.

"I'm so sorry, Steve. I know how much you loved her and how excited you were with the proposal."

"Why did you talk to her?"

The question startled Danny and he gaped at Steve for a moment before he spoke up. _Because I love you, you goof_ , came first to mind, but Danny stopped himself before he uttered a word.

"Because I care for you, Steve. And because I didn't want you to be burned again. Well, what good did I do, huh?"

Steve was mulling over Danny's words. He knew Danny had the best intentions for him, but he found it hard to believe Danny would go and talk to Catherine considering her stay, because he cared for him. Especially after what he said to him, and played an ignorant bastard afterwards with the cruel declaration that he didn't remember that night at all.

"You must be pretty hung over. Go shower and I'll make another round of coffee." The tension in the air made Danny want to leave Steve's bedroom as soon as possible. He got up, but a hand on his forearm stopped him in his tracks.

"You were hung over, too." Steve stated. "A week ago."

"Yeah, don't remind me of that, my head hurt like a bitch and I had to work that day… The main reason why I want you stay in today. I'll help you with everything you need."

"You don't listen to me, Danny."

"What am I not listening?"

"You were hung over, and you don't remember anything."

"What's there to remember?"

"What you said, that's what to remember, Daniel!" Steve snapped and closed the distance between him and Danny. "What you said. And then you claimed you didn't remember. Hurt more than to see you hung over and in pain the next day."

"And what? You think I was faking it?"

"Dunno. Were you?"

"Steve, babe, what's going on? Why are you like this?"

"You said you loved me. You loved me with years, and the next day it was like nothing happened. You acted like an ignorant son of a bitch, going about your everyday life like nothing happened!"

Danny was on the edge of tears again. Because of the hurt in Steve's voice and because of his own stupidity. _Confessing to Steve that he loved him? Just how drunk was he?_

Danny blinked a few times, he didn't want to cry in front of Steve and look like 'ignorant son of a bitch' that wants to win him over with tears. He swallowed his pride and just went with the thing he knew the best. He would apologize to Steve for the inconvenience and instead of causing him more hurt and pain, he'll leave.

It was obviously a mistake he came to Steve's place this morning. It was a mistake, because Steve didn't call him yesterday to tell him about the fiasco with Catherine.

And now Danny knew the reason why. Maybe Steve thought that Danny would see this as an opportunity to jump in right where she left off and get Steve for himself. Did Steve really think that low of Danny?

Danny's head was reeling. He tried to calm his beating heart, because the sneaky bastard would betray him in front of Steve.

"Babe, I'm sorry, I…"

"What, Danny? You'll claim that what you said it wasn't true?"

"No." And here, he said it. He admitted it. "As much as I don't remember what I said that night, and it would be nice if I got a reminder to what else I said then, I won't deny that. I love you Steve. I have loved you for a long time. Not just like a best friend. Or a brother. But, like you love the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, that kind of love."

He wasn't able to look Steve in the eyes, to see all that pain in those cobalt blues, to see the rejection, the repulsion. Because he knew there would be a rejection. Steve was as straight as an arrow and he would not suddenly change his mind about his bisexual partner that was in love with him for far longer than he could remember.

Danny started to back down again, but Steve was off the bed now and gripping his forearm enough to leave bruises. He tried to remove his arm out of Steve's grip, but the guy had a steel grip on it.

"Danny, please, don't do this to yourself. Don't do this to us. I know you-"

"You don't know shit, Steven, and don't say that. I have every right to do this to myself, because I held on for so long, and it's too much. Everything is too much. I just want to have some reprieve for what I'm feeling. I know you don't feel the same. I would never blame you if you slapped me right now and kicked me out of the house. In fact, I'm gonna leave now and leave you alone for good.

"You do not deserve to hear the whining of your stupid partner that has fallen for you head over heels. It's not fair for me to do this to you. And I'm sorry, Steve. I'm so fucking sorry."

"Danny, wait-"

But, Danny was out of the bedroom, flying through the stairs and slamming the front door shut in a matter of seconds.

Steve was left gaping at the open door of his bedroom, staring at the distance, listening to squealing tires as Danny's Camaro peeled off of his driveway.

Steve exhaled and went to the bathroom to shower and clear his head.

…


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Danny was pissed off beyond himself. He was pissed off at Steve, at himself, at the whole wide world. Why did he had to let his mouth run when he was drunk? And why the hell did he not remember anything, goddammit?

Danny wiped the traitorous tears off his cheeks angrily leaving red marks in their wake. He could not cry. He would not cry. Not now. He was stronger than this. He'd manage to get through this. With or without Steve. Danny never ran off from his problems.

Except he did. Today. He ran away. He couldn't take it anymore. Danny knew it was stupid from him, he knew that he left Steve with more questions than answers, but that night, that fucking night, he couldn't remember anything and why Steve was so riled up about it.

Danny was quietly sobbing now, body shaking despite the warm weather. He thought his favorite spot could heal the wounds he had inside, but it didn't. Especially the one in his heart. It seemed like it became larger as more time passed.

Danny sighed and rubbed at his eyes, smearing tears around them and down his cheeks. He didn't want to go home. He couldn't go to work like this, being a mess and all. He'd make more harm than good. What if he was needed on the field and he messed up, ended up getting some of his teammates shot, because of it? No, Danny couldn't risk that.

He continued staring at the distance, asking the ocean for answers he knew only his brain could supply him with.

…

* * *

Steve ended up scalding himself in an effort to forget what just happened. He never saw Danny that dejected in his life, and frankly Steve had to admit to himself, he was partially the reason why Danny was like that. On top of that Danny ran off like fire was burning under his feet.

The fact was, Steve loved Danny, for as long as he could remember, too. He just didn't want to acknowledge it before. He thought Danny would never return his feelings. It started innocently enough loving him as a friend, and somehow one day Steve came to the conclusion he loved Danny as something more.

Now that Catherine was gone from his life, again (and Steve hoped this was the last time and for good) Steve came to realize that he never loved Catherine as much as he loved Danny. He never loved anyone remotely as he loved Danny. Sure, he had his fair share of girlfriends over the years, he even suspected Lori had her eyes on him long time ago, the most serious relationship being with Catherine, but this thing he felt about Danny, ran deeper than any of his previous relationships.

Steve was thinking of how many times Danny was there for him, helped him for no reason except that he needed to be helped at that particular moment. Danny didn't need to do that. In fact, Danny could have easily claimed he was just a coworker and no strings attached. But when Danny wanted to help you, he'd move Heaven and Earth to do that.

He didn't have to stick around on barbeques, on gatherings, nor sit with Steve endless hours on the chairs and watch the ocean, sometimes not even saying a word. He didn't have to do that, yet he did. He was a constant in Steve's life. His anchor. Someone that Steve greatly missed when he wasn't around.

Danny was the sunshine in Steve's world, and if something Steve knew about Hawai'i was that it wasn't always sunny, even if the sun was up high in the sky. The warmth, the love, the care, just Danny being around were enough to keep Steve around. He'd be out of what was formerly his home, if it wasn't for Danny in his father's garage.

As Steve was flooded with realizations and thoughts, something hit him. And it hit him hard.

The way Danny behaved when Catherine was mentioned after the thing in the 'Stan. The way Danny tensed when Catherine suddenly appeared for Kono's wedding. He was all relaxed and smiles, and somehow when Catherine came to the picture, he changed altogether.

Steve remembered that it bothered him to see Danny so tense, and it was their best friends' wedding, he shouldn't feel too crappy just before that event. But, strangely Danny did.

Steve knew that Danny had trouble keeping up the power of positive thinking and that he tried hard. For the sake of himself, his family, and everyone that Danny loved. Steve was a little bit selfish and pushy on that matter, he knew firsthand it was not easy to change the way you were before. But, he could see Danny try. And he succeeded.

Steve also remembered the talk he had with Danny, where Danny said it was about time he proposed to Catherine, as opposed to what he was feeling. He was trying to be positive and supportive for his sake that Steve's heart ached with the thought. Because that smile, that faked smile and laugh, the words that Danny was happy for him, were nothing but just a way for Danny to put up that mask he had on, more and more as the days went by.

He was all smiles and laughs, when he was actually hurting on the inside. And maybe Steve wasn't too far off with suggesting to Danny to give it time until he was not that happy about his proposal to Catherine.

It somehow all added up. Danny being overeager for Steve getting married, his chirpy and joyous attitude. The fact that screamed in Steve's head the most was that Danny got drunk the exact night Steve showed him the ring he picked up for the engagement.

If Steve went back to that night and right before Danny left the office, he could clearly remember the hurt-filled blue eyes of his partner, the sullen mood, the slump of his shoulders. Steve cursed himself for not noticing the signs, for not seeing Danny's suffering for what it was. Love that he thought would never be returned his way.

Maybe he was planning to speak up, the way he was somehow loose when telling 'illusion' Steve what he felt. Maybe, just maybe Catherine's reappearance was just bad timing that sunk all of Danny's ships and that hope that was left inside him sliced him in half, and opened a wound he long thought was closed.

Steve didn't want to waste one more moment, because Danny's thoughts and worries mirrored his own, and he knew Danny must be desperate in this moment. He would not go at home, he'd probably drive around and end up somewhere. Maybe drinking again to forget.

Steve could not allow that. Because Danny and what they had was too important for him to throw away in the drain. He had to tell Danny he felt the same, and that he didn't care what he said being drunk, or what he confessed about talking with Catherine. Steve needed to let Danny know he loved him. As much as Danny loved Steve, and a little more (blame it on being a control freak with competitive issues).

Steve picked up his cell from the night stand and turned it on. He dialed Danny's number. He didn't turn his phone off, thank God, Steve thought. But the second time he dialed, the phone went straight to voice mail. So, maybe Danny saw he was calling and didn't want to talk to him.

Steve tried again and again, until he was tired of listening to the recorded voice of his partner. He needed the real deal.

As Steve picked up a pair of clean jeans and a white t-shirt he opened up his laptop and pulled up the detail on all of their vehicles. Clicking on the details about the Camaro, he opened the window that showed the features. Choosing 'low jack' he could see a red blinking dot that wasn't moving, which meant Danny was somewhere parked.

Pulling up the coordinates of the GPS, Steve nodded as realization hit him once again. Danny was at his favorite spot.

 _Of course._

That was Danny's escape always and forever when all things were not alright.

With his goal set, Steve dressed and picked up his keys and wallet, leaving the house and driving off in his Silverado. He needed to set things right.

…


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

* * *

"I knew I'd find you here." A familiar voice said behind his back.

Danny didn't turn around, but he knew who it was even before he felt the familiar warmth of Steve's body as he sat close to him.

"Hey." Steve tried once again, but Danny didn't acknowledge him.

"Okay… If you are going to give me the silent treatment, it's better if I start talking, so you can catch up with me later." Steve chuckled, but it sounded dry and bitter, and so off, that Danny turned his head to the left to look at Steve.

"I love you." Steve decided this was as good time as any to be honest about his feelings.

Danny snorted and looked at the ocean again.

"I really do." Steve continued, hoping this will elicit at least a word out of Danny. "I'm sorry I acted like a jerk."

"No, Steve. I'm sorry for doing this to you… It's just… Let's forget about it. We both hurt each other unintentionally and I don't want us doing this to each other again. It's enough as it is. Just drop it. I'll be fine. And you don't have to worry. Sorry for all this mess."

"Now, you are not the one listening, Danny, not me. I'm trying to say to you that I love you, and you want to back out of this? Outrageous."

"What is it, Steve? What are you gonna say? You love me like a best friend? Like a brother? You gonna rub my drunken state of mind again in my face? Is that it?"

"Danny…" Steve took one of Danny's hands in his and brought it to his chest, over the place where he could feel the heartbeat of Steve's heart. "I love you." Steve said again.

This time, Danny hadn't moved his hand out of Steve's grasp. He gazed in the blue depths of Steve's eyes and tried to find something, anything that will tell him he didn't read the signs wrong. The fluttering heartbeat under his palm wasn't enough for the moment. He needed to be sure. He needed to be sure Steve was not messing around with his feelings, because if he did, Danny would not be able to go on like nothing has happened between the two.

"I love you. I have loved you for a very long time. I just didn't realize how much up until I heard you say those words few nights ago. At first, when I found you like that, drunk, with bottle in your hand, just sitting on the couch, looking as miserable as ever, I said to myself, this can't be. That wasn't you. Yet, it was. Because you were hurting and you needed an out. Frankly, I have drowned my feelings in alcohol more times than you can count, but somehow when I saw you like that…

"Let's just say it did not sit well with me. And then when I asked you what was wrong, you were all like, go away, you are not real, you kept thinking you were hallucinating, that I was not even in the room. After I refused to go, you started pouring you soul to me. You were talking to 'illusion' Steve, according to you, and since you knew you'd never get to tell the real Steve about it, you might as well let it out. Apparently it was hurting you enough to leave a gaping hole you were trying to patch up with years, but was bleeding over and over again when you saw me with Catherine. Or flirting with other girls.

"One particular event that you mentioned was how hurt you were that one time I took Catherine to a date and swooped her in my arms, when Kamekona bought the helicopter, to be exact, when you helped him buy it. And how much you wanted to be Catherine in that scenario."

Steve came to a sudden stop when he saw the range of emotions passing through Danny's face. First disbelief, then it became understanding, and at last it was an emotion that Steve could not describe. Was it realization as to what Danny said and wanted to revoke what he said, or realization what he said, and maybe embarrassment at what particular things he was thinking of?

Steve squeezed the hand that was still over his heart, and Danny lifted his troubled eyes to Steve. He could see there were tears glistening in those baby blues.

"I said all of that, huh?" Danny's voice sounded hollow, and distant.

"Yes, you did. That, and that you loved me more than life itself. That you'd die if I died, that I make a perfect uncle to Gracie and Charlie. And that I'd make a perfect step-father to them, hypothetically. Because as you put it, we could never be together."

"Well, I guess I was wrong then, huh?"

"You were dead wrong, Danno. Because I love you, too. I love you like I've never loved anyone in my life. And if I am honest with you, I think that all this thing with the engagement was just my trying to go for stable. Because I knew I'd never have you, I thought you'd never see me like that, you were in a relationship yourself. I thought that if I marry Catherine, I'll settle down and it will hurt less. But what you said that night, Danny. What you said that night…"

"What I said that night made you realize that finally the love you felt for me was not just one-sided. But then I didn't remember what I said the next day, and you felt like I did it on purpose."

"Yeah."

"Idiot."

"I know, Danny."

"I mean how could you possibly think that I'd do that to you? Do you think of me like a heartless son of a bitch that would do that to you? That I'd say something so important and then back out like nothing ever happened? I'd never do that. Not in my wildest dreams. Not to you, not to anyone else. I'm not like that."

"I know."

"Then why the hell didn't you say something sooner? Why did you have to make scenarios in your head that weren't out there, and to top it all off, you continued with the engagement plan?"

Steve actually stilled at that, because he really didn't know why he kept going with the engagement. Because, he didn't see the things as they were.

There was an open opportunity to just leave the past where it belonged and stay friends with Catherine, try his luck with Danny, but he was damn proud, and wouldn't let himself talk to Danny over something like his partner being drunk and confessing his undying love to him.

Steve knew that it could have very well been just a fling, but knowing Danny it wasn't. The raw emotions in his voice, the honesty, it was all there out on display, saying these things drunk even more of a statement at how sincere he was about all.

But, at the same time Steve didn't want to be left once again. He knew very well that if things didn't work out, if he tried to corner Danny about something as serious as this, he might bolt, and then claim it wasn't true. And Steve could not have that.

So, he chose the "safer" option, which left him with an abandonment again. That made him realize once again, that Danny would never leave him like Catherine did. Not even in a million years. Not even if their relationship, hypothetically speaking, went downhill.

"Because I was afraid that you'd leave me, too if God forbid something wrong happened… If we got together and one day things weren't as they should be."

"I'd never do that."

"I know, Danny. Believe me, I do. I had some time to think things through and I know now. But then… All I could think of was the rejection that will come from you. Much like you thought I'd reject you earlier."

"Look, babe, I know that it may look like too much to you, but it is as it is. I can't promise you that if we ever get together, that our relationship would be all honey and milk, and no arguments and bad times. But, I'd never leave you. Even if you wanted me to. I'd never do that."

"I'd never want you to leave me either, Danny."

"All I'm saying is that you don't leave those that you love."

"Much like Catherine has done to me."

"Not just Catherine. All of the people out there that do that. You love someone. And even if that love would never be returned, hypothetically, you stay with them. Or close to them. Because you just don't leave them. It's not fair. They need a shoulder to lean on. Someone to love, too. Just be themselves with someone."

"So, that's why it never worked out with Melissa in the first place, huh?"

"Well, I wouldn't have gotten that far if it wasn't for you. I was ready to quit, but then you had to push me in that direction. Telling me how I had to be with her, because I had to think more positive. That I was afraid for myself, and not for what Grace would think if we got to separate with Amber one day, and she got attached to her."

"It's not like you didn't push me to go to Catherine, Danny."

"Now, that's just a low blow, Steve. I never pushed you. I said I was happy for you, because I knew you must have known what you were doing when you decided to propose. I didn't push you, it was your own decision. Yours only. Don't try to pin it out on me. I never even remotely said anything for you to go back to her."

"Then why didn't you say anything? Why?"

"Because of this. This exact thing, Steven! Because you would have thought that I'm trying to interfere. The last thing I wanted to do was to ruin your relationship, no matter what I thought of that matter. How wrong it was for you to go back to her after all. But, details."

"You really think that it would have been that? Interfering? What if I was feeling the same thing you did?"

"But you didn't."

"I didn't say that. I didn't say that I didn't love you, Danny."

"Yes, Steve, you have said that you love me thousand times, so have I, but not once you sent a signal or something that you loved me more than just a friend. And don't try to pin this again on me. If it's someone's fault, then it's mutual. We share this. Because as much as I didn't speak up, neither did you."

"I'll give you that."

"Yes. And just so you know, I don't say 'I love you' like it's a joke, or like it rolls off my tongue naturally. It takes a lot for me to say it. I may say I love this, or that, but when I say 'I love you' it has to mean something. The main reason why it never would have worked with Amber… Melissa, or whatever."

"Because you didn't love her."

"Exactly. She was a nice person, young, with a cheerful spirit, but damaged from years of abuse by her husband. She wanted an out, and I gave her that out. With time, that out wasn't enough. It was good for me, because I was able to forget for once or twice here and there. But as things progressed, she asked for more. Something I couldn't give. Because you just don't do that. You don't fool around with someone to fulfill your own needs, and expect them to be cool with it.

"It's just not right, you know. I was okay with it for a while, but then I got thinking. I'm fooling around with her, and I'm spending her time, time she does not have to waste dating and loving this grumpy and tired old man. Time she may invest in finding herself a good catch and maybe love again. We weren't meant to be, Steve. So, I let her go. For her own sake and mine."

"What I should have done with Catherine a long time ago. But, thinking that you didn't love me the way I did kinda did the trick and I ended up being stupid enough to think that marrying her would solve everything… I'm sorry, Danny."

"Yeah, I'm sorry, too. We are such idiots, Steve."

"That we are. I agree completely."

"So, how about we make a promise to ourselves."

"What promise?"

"A promise that whatever it is, we talk with each other first. Not to wait failed marriage proposals and drunken nights to speak for us. Talking like normal people do. No matter what. The key ingredient to a good and healthy relationship is communication after all." Danny smiled for the first time that day, and it had the effect like a balm over Steve's soul.

"That from experience?"

"Shut it, McGarrett." Danny punched Steve playfully on the bicep as he turned around to look in his eyes, and fully communicate what words couldn't.

"Okay, okay, don't get violent, I'll sue you. And we are not even officially dating."

"Har-har."

"Promise."

"Promise."

"Now, may I kiss you?"

"Such an impatient animal you are, Steven."

"Well, I waited for this with years. I'm not gonna let this opportunity slide and wait for the next."

Danny furrowed a brow, shooting Steve a questioning look. "Oh, so it wasn't like I was waiting or anything, Princess."

"Shut up and let me kiss you, Danno."

Steve was smiling, too, that goofy grin plastered on his face, the one Danny loved the most.

One of his hands cupped the back of Danny's neck as he drew the blonde against him. The second their lips touched for the first time, they both released a sigh, something from deep inside giving in and they were able to enjoy the moment fully with everything they had.

When they pulled away for breath, Steve touched his forehead against Danny's and whispered against his lips. "Just so you know, I don't think you are grumpy and tired old man. I revoke what I have said. You are the most amazing person I know in my whole life, and I love you to pieces. I will tell you this every day for the rest of my life. Even when you get tired from listening to me blabbering."

"I'll never get tired of you, Steve. And I love you to the moon and back. Maybe even further." Danny chuckled and placed a chaste kiss on Steve's lips. "I'm a fool for your loving."

"I like that. My fool."

"Yeah, your fool. And you are my goof."

…


End file.
